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I was born hungry. That’s why I’m a 400 lb. man, trapped inside a thin man’s body. Oh sure, I used to be thin and in shape, but somewhere along the line, I found this ever- widening hole inside of me, that all the booze and meaningless flings with crazy, drunken nymphos couldn’t fill.

I turned to the only friend who would never forsake me… What? Are you for real? I’m totally screwing around here, and you wanted a “Lifetime” story? Here’s an idea: Let’s grab our collective manhood, quit watching “Oprah” and “Dr. Phil”, and get cooking!

Chili and macaroni have been coupled together for a long time, but not quite like this.

I know it’s a silly name. but I like this stuff, and the name is just- well, it’s just kind of fun. This came to be as a substitute for Sloppy Joes, and quite honestly, I think it’s better.

MFO: 5     Have some fun with the squeezy, plastic bottles. Heck, have a condiment war if you like.

I used to work nights. I hated it. While everyone else was going home to be with their loved ones, I was just starting my day.

Eating right became a chore- and quite honestly, I got lazy about cooking. One morning I came home to my apartment and stood in front of the fridge for what seemed an eternity. I had a bunch of leftovers, a package of hot dogs, and a couple of eggs.

Then an epiphany occurred! I knew what I was going to eat while watching “Good Morning America”. Sweet salvation was at hand!

MFO:3 One frying pan, one fork, and a willingness to try something new.

Dude, these are so easy to make, but really good! I’ve made these for buddies who were coming over to watch hockey, because, as we know, not everyone can find stuff to throw together to feed hungry friends. Soon, though, YOU will become the guy guy who winds up feeding everyone! When that happens, make THEM wash the dishes. After all, they’re the freeloading, beer drinking, chip snarfing, dirty shoes up on the coffee table group you just can’t ever seem to get rid of when your lady is feeling amorous. But they’re your friends, so feed ‘em right.