Uncle Jeff
Uncle Jeff is married to Auntie Gertrude. He is certifiably insane. After years of chasing Auntie Gertie around, he just lost it one day while watching “Wheel of Fortune” in their “double- wide.”
Aunt Gertie came home to find him buck naked and licking the t.v. screen. For some reason only he knows, he feels that he can taste products in commercials, and loves the flavor of Avon makeup.
Uncle Jeff used to be a very normal guy. Regular 9 to 5 job at the gas station, Nascar loving, pickup truck driving, ‘coon huntin’ good ol’ boy from Missouri. He married Gertie after knowing her for all of about five minutes, so maybe he wasn’t really all that normal, after all.
Uncle Jeff likes to watch cooking shows, but again, the screen licker in him comes out, and we see dried saliva puddled on the floor a lot. He also likes yelling at the people he sees on the different programs he watches. Just the other day, he had an in depth conversation with the Neelys about the merits of dry rub versus wet sauce barbeque. Since they Neelys were on t.v., this was a decidedly one way conversation, but I don’t think that mattered much to him.
Even with his apparent insanity growing unchecked, we still love Uncle Jeff, if for nothing else than the wonderful stories he provides us with, for family reunions.
Rock on, Uncle Jeff, rock on!
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